


don't go

by astaeria



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Missing someone, fear of separation, longing for someone, yuwin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-12-03 19:48:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11539221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astaeria/pseuds/astaeria
Summary: yuta doesn't want him to go.





	1. Chapter 1

it was a normal day in the dorm of nct. although the heavens that hung above them seemed to mimic the color of pencil lead smudged across a piece of paper, the people in it moved around their areas, talking among themselves with voices that overlapped the volume of the crackling thunder.

compared to the other days, though, the noises bouncing against the walls were not caused by different topics and different emotions towards them, but the same, for the noises were all about their announced months off work.

meaning, they were free to do anything according to their heart's desires for a few months.

although, as much as it sounded like a good thing, there was also a bad thing about it.

the members, especially the foreign ones, were going to head home, which were most likely miles away from each other.

most of them didn't mind this a lot, though, for they had been wanting to see their families and friends for so long, so perhaps a short while of separation wouldn't be so bad.

yuta thought otherwise.

he heaved a heavy but silent sigh as he sank in the seat he was sitting on. despite the distracting noise surrounding him, he felt like he was the only one in the room.

it wasn't that he didn't want to come back to his home in japan to see his family and friends after a long while. in fact, he always wanted to.

it wasn't that he was the only one to do so, either. it was difficult to be the only member of a certain nationality, but he had started to see that it wasn't all that bad when you're surrounded by accepting people who aren't afraid to lend a hand when you need one, such as his co-members.

what was the real reason, then?

as he looked up and ahead, yuta saw the chinese line chatting around. he frowned, not because he couldn't understand what they were sayung, but because seeing and hearing them speak in their native tongue reminded him of it: he was going to go through months alone and without a certain chinese member: dong si cheng.

he was so deep in thought that it took him quite a long time to realize that the boy he was staring at was already staring back at him. once it hit him, he immediately turned away, desperately hoping that things won't go the way he thought but didn't want them to go.

"hyung?"

well, too late for that.

yuta turned to si cheng, who was now sitting down and starting at him with a faint hint of a frown on his lips.

"what is it, winwinnie?" he asked with a fake sweet tone.

"i wanted to ask you the same question, yuta hyung," si cheng answered as his frown became more visible and less bearable for yuta.

what should yuta say? should he say that he didn't want the vacation to happen, only because he was scared of separation due to the fact that anything can happen and anything can change within the span of a month, much less more than a month?

the truth threatened to tip off his tongue, but then, he swallowed it in time. he didn't dare say it. he didn't want him to think that he was selfish.

instead, yuta shook his head and shone a smile while intertwining his fingers with si cheng's and wrapping his hand with warmth that nothing, not even the sun, can replace while he was not by his side.

"it's nothing," yuta simply said in japanese.

 _it's nothing_ , he repeated in his head, as if he was trying to convince himself and not him.


	2. Chapter 2

the day had arrived. the day where the members were allowed to leave the dorm for departure. the day that everyone was waiting for.

well, everyone except a certain japanese member.

yuta sat on the window seat, silently staring at nothing through the blurred glass while listening to loud music being blared by his almost broken pair of earphones.

the whole group decided that it was a good idea to ride along on the bus on the way to the airport to say goodbye to the first set of members who were leaving, which were the chinese line.

he did everything that he could do to not go with them, like acting like he was still sleeping, acting like he was suddenly sick, moving very slowly for the members to reconsider dragging him along, but his ways were brought to no avail, so once he was forced to take a seat, he sat the very front of the bus, where almost none of the noise was heard.

this attempt, too, failed, because the sole reason why he didn't want to go decided to sit right next to him.

with this situation, he fixed his eyes on everything going around outside the bus, specifically the sky. he observed his how it was plain gray and gloomy while it poured out crystalline-like liquid, drop by drop.

the sky must be crying for me, he thought.

in the middle of sulking, yuta suddenly felt a light weight drop on his shoulder. at first, he didn't mind this, but as the seconds went by, he started to feel curious as what it was, so he tore his gaze away from the sky and turned to his left only to have hair shoved in his face.

he looked down, surprised by what he was welcomed with, then became even more surprised as he saw what the weight actually was.

sicheng had fallen asleep absentmindedly on his shoulder.

yuta then heard the rest of the group at the back of the bus, singing along to the song on the radio like it was a party. 

he fell asleep in a situation like this? 

he stared at the younger boy's face only to discover how the way he looked peaceful while sleeping was going to give him physical pain.

yuta turned away, but as he went back to staring at the silently sobbing sky, he felt his heart wrench in his chest.

if only he could keep him to himself.


	3. Chapter 3

"aiyoo, it's raining again."

tearing his seemingly shocked stare away from the crowd of fans and fansites surrounding the newly-arrived group, yuta stepped out of the van and looked out in attempt to look at the said sight of the heavens silently sobbing, but as his eyes ran over and saw the sight of sicheng stopping in his tracks and standing with his head up and his eyes on the sky, he almost forgot that he was still breathing and existing in the middle of a sea of a million people.

he was staring at the said boy with so much intent that it took him a whole second to realize that sicheng was already staring back at him and was already talking to him.

"what?" was all he could mutter.

"do you have an umbrella with you?" sicheng repeated with emphasis, as if he was weirded out by how yuta didn't hear it at his first attempt when they were merely a few centimeters away from each other.

"an umbrella? oh, an umbrella. oh, i do," yuta blurted out, taking out the umbrella that he had been holding and opening it, then handing it over to sicheng.

"wait, hyung," sicheng said as he held yuta's hand before he could let go of the umbrella. "walk with me, or you will get wet."

the way sicheng was looking at him and telling him to walk with him shot an arrow through yuta's chest. the thing is, though, he couldn't tell whether the arrow was shot by cupid or pain.

as they walked, all sicheng did was look around them and wave and smile whenever he saw someone do it to him, while all yuta did was look at him and nothing nor no one else. 

yuta knew fully that he wasn't being subtle about his feelings for sicheng through this stupid move, but he couldn't care less. his cute chinese baby boy was leaving korea, more importantly, him, for months, and he couldn't help but make the most of the time he have left with him.

unfortunately, he didn't know that he had been doing it in a wrong way.


	4. Chapter 4

the group was already on their way to that certain place in the airport where the ones who were going to ride the airplane pass their last greetings to the ones who weren't, also known as that certain place where people cry the most, and judging from all of the thoughts cruelly blinding his mind and the feelings painfully twisting and turning his heart strings like a knot, yuta was almost thought that he was going to be one of those people.

yuta was almost convinced that he was defying the laws of physics as he felt like gravity was pulling down on his feet more and more with each and every second that went by while waiting at that certain place. he remained isolated from his friends out of fear that he was going to break down the moment he opened his mouth.

unfortunately, this sulking time of his only lasted until the chinese members came back.

as the members started saying their last greetings to the others, yuta held his head down, hoping that time had plans of coming by as soon as possible.

"yuta hyung."

_tsk._

yuta turned around to see sicheng standing by him with his hand wrapped around one of the straps of his satchel. he looked at his eyes, seeing the obvious glint of worry buried in it.

"we're leaving now, yuta hyung," sicheng said softly.

yuta huffed, as if to say _i_   _know_.

"alright," yuta responded coldly. "have a safe trip."

"don't i get my hug?" sicheng pouted.

_how could he act all cute when he's leaving me alone? damn this kid._

"hyung."

"what?"

"what's wrong? you've been acting weird ever since last few weeks ago."

yuta looked down at sicheng, biting his lip. he didn't know whether he wanted to hate him for not knowing or to be relieved to know that he didn't notice.

he opened his mouth to spout another one of his infamous lies, but sicheng was too much for him. he stared at the japanese boy, stabbing him in the heart with his eyes.

he knew something was wrong, and he wasn't going to let him be left alone with it.

"is it because i'm leaving?"

and that was it; that was when yuta's heart was struck down after weeks of trying to force it up. tearing down his pride, yuta covered his face with his hands, attempting to catch the tears that were falling out of his eyes.

"i don't—" yuta muttered in a croaky voice as sobs were building up in his throat. "i don't want you to go. i don't want you to leave me alone."

he sniffled and wiped away his tears, trying to look up at sicheng, who was looking back at him with shock plastering his baby-like face.

"but i can't let you stay, either," yuta continued. "you have to go. i can't stop you, can i?"

yuta looked back down at his feet, ashamed for many things, like telling sicheng his selfish thoughts that revolved around him, for crying in the middle of the airport, and for making the chinese members become slowly late for their flight.

as the speakers spoke up with an announcement about the airplane almost ready for take off, sicheng looked at his fellow chinese friends, then back at yuta with a small yet sad smile.

"i wish you told me this earlier, hyung," sicheng said, sighing. he then walked closer to yuta and gently wrapped his arms around him, enveloping both of them with such warmth that both boys knew they were going to miss every day.

yuta looked down at sicheng with eyes widened out of surprise, but then, his arms automatically wrapped around the latter, returning such a sweet gesture.

"it's just for a few months, hyung," he heard sicheng mutter against his clothed shoulder.

_but a second without you feels like a century. what more with months?_

the two then pulled away, giving a sour taste to their hearts.

"see you soon, yuta hyung," sicheng said with a smile.

yuta watched as sicheng turned away and ran up to his fellow chinese friends to catch up. he balled his fists and bit his lip, bitter about the sight he was watching, but he couldn't look away. tears started welling up in his eyes, and homesickness started filling up his chest.

 **泣いちゃだめ**  
eyes getting wet  

 **泣いちゃだめ**  
don't be upset

 **でもホントは言いたいよ**  
but my heart really wants to cry

  
**「 いかないで 」**  
"don't go away yet"

end.


End file.
